The Quest for Lost Eire (Paperback)

The twins, John and Paul, Hegarty, supposedly named after the Pope's visit, but actually after the Beatles, are what is termed 'immature students', that is, having gone to college after being sacked off every bad job there was. In the course of their studies, they feel they can take on the world, and when they land their first job on an archaeological site, under the auspices of Archaeological Research and Sites Excavation Ltd (or ARSE Ltd for short), they are in their element. Even if it is in a backwater called Baile B'stard. They quickly learn that the practice of archaeology is nothing like what they studied at college. The site they are working on is a circular feature called, temporarily, a 'thingfort', with bets being placed as to its true age afoot. They encounter a dystopian mix of disinterested supervisors, interested locals, megalomaniac site assistants, a porn star moonlighting as a finds person, and getting one's rocks off behind the filling station, all under the auspices of menacing giant cow who terrorises anyone that comes in her way. At least they wouldn't be bored...